This blog describes what quintessential leadership looks – and doesn’t look – like and the aspects of every part of who and what we are in our lives from the inside out that each of us who are striving to become quintessential leaders must be aware of, must examine carefully, and must be in a constant state of forward progress to changing to become quintessential leaders.
The reality is that none of us is there yet and that includes me. (more…)
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. made an insightful and wise observation on the nature of progress: “All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.”
The reality is that the solution to one problem often brings us face to face with many other problems. That is the price of progress. Understanding, knowing, and accepting that is also what distinguishes quintessential leaders from everyone else. (more…)
In the first post of this series, the excerpt from chapter 1 included a list of all the components we must develop and have to build trust and be trustworthy.
In the subsequent chapter excerpts detailing the components we need to have and develop to build trust and be trustworthy, chapter 2 discusses honesty, chapter 3 discusses integrity, and chapter 4 discusses fairness, chapter 5 discusses righting wrongs, and chapter 6 discusses accountability.
This post, which includes an excerpt from chapter 7, discusses the component of consistency that builds trust and makes us trustworthy.
Being consistent in our lives as humans is often very difficult. The reasons for this difficulty are quite simple:
Inconsistency is extremely damaging in every way.
It creates instability, unreliability, fear, reluctance, malaise, disenfranchisement, alienation, and excessively-high stress levels.
Inconsistency completely inhibits the ability to plan, to project, and to grow. It also prevents teams from developing and reaching their potential and will eventually lead to high attrition rates.
And, yet, consistency is impossible to find in many people who are leadership positions today. Randomness and chaos seem to rule every corner of the world and that is a big contributor to the prevalent lack of trust in and untrustworthiness of the majority of people who are in leadership positions now.
Building trust and being trustworthy is an integrated trait of quintessential leaders.
It is also an integrated trait that all of us – because each and every one of us leads at least one team, small or large, of people in our lives – need to develop and have as part of the core of who we are and what we are. In essence, this trait is at the center of exemplary character and conduct, and none of us should settle for anything less than this in ourselves and others.
Unfortunately, most of us settle for less. A lot less. In ourselves. In others.
The majority of people in leadership positions today are not trust builders and they are not trustworthy. Many of us, frankly, are also not trust builders and trustworthy.
We live in a world that with no moral code as its foundation that expects trust to be non-existent or broken. Look around. It’s everywhere, including, in many cases, very close to you.
And society has become so accustomed to this that it glorifies it instead of condemning it.
Politicians who lie routinely, who line their pockets with money and perks while making decisions that hurt and destroy the people they are supposed to represent, who cheat on their wives because they can.
Arts and sports celebrities who have no regard for faithfulness to their spouses, who live hedonistic lifestyles that destroy their families, the people around them, and, eventually their lives.
Religious leaders who cheat on their wives, who cheat on their taxes, and who scam their congregations both in how they deceitfully handle the word of God and in coercive and corrupt financial matters, acquiring wealth and power in the process.
Business leaders who destroy millions of lives by deceit, fraud, and illegal actions that result in their employees and customers losing everything while they escape any kind of punitive action and instead reap obscene profits and end their tenures – only to go to another financially lucrative position – with golden parachutes that are equally obscene.
And we, as individual leaders for our teams, who cheat on our taxes, who are routinely dishonest with the children (our own and others) and other people entrusted to us, who routinely steal things from our workplaces (you most likely didn’t pay for that pen you’re using at work, so it doesn’t belong to you), who routinely break traffic laws, who will walk out of stores with something we were not charged for and never think twice about it, who will take extra money that we’re not owed in financial transactions without blinking an eye, who cheat on our spouses, who marry until “divorce do us part,” and who, as a course of habit, break confidences of family and friends, gossip about family and friends behind their backs, and destroy reputations in the process.
Maybe we haven’t thought about building trust and being trustworthy at this kind of nitty gritty level.
But until we do – and we develop and have this trait as the core of who and what we are – we will not build trust and we will not be trustworthy. And we will not be quintessential leaders.
Trust and trustworthiness is probably the single most important trait we can possess. And it is also the most fragile.
It can take a long time to build and be, but it can be broken irreparably in a single second.
Therefore, this is a lifetime work on and in ourselves that we must commit to making an integral part of our character by continually developing it, maintaining it, and growing it.
This goal should be our goal.
But it requires courage. It requires diligence. It requires vigilance. It requires continual self-examination. It requires continual change. It requires the ability to, much of the time, stand alone to maintain.
It is not for the faint-hearted. It is not for the vacillators. It is not for the crowd-pleasers. It is not for the pretenders. It is not for the wannabes. It is not for the weak.
But if you’re reading this, I know that you’re not any of those kinds of people. Those kinds of people won’t even read this because it requires time, effort, change, and commitment, and too many of us are, sadly, either just too lazy or we just don’t care.
Building Trust and Being Trustworthy takes an in-depth look at the “this is what it looks like in practice” aspect of each of the components we need to develop and have to build trust and be trustworthy. The second chapter discusses the component of honesty in building trust and being trustworthy.
Excerpt from”Chapter 7: The Consistency Component of Trust and Trustworthiness”
“What this means in practical terms is that a quintessential leader is who he or she says he or she is and that he or she is what he or she says they believe – all the time, without exception. When we as quintessential leaders practice consistency, our teams always know what to expect and that helps to create an organized, sensible and predictable environment in which team members can operate, grow, and thrive.
When those who claim to be leaders don’t practice consistency, they become very much like Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The environment for their teams is chaotic, confusing and unpredictable and is characterized by constant fear and failure to thrive.
Consistency, like all the other components of trust and trustworthiness, is a rare commodity in any part of life today. It goes hand-in-hand with fairness and character. In society, in parenting, in politics, in religion, and in business, consistency has been replaced by expediency. The lack of consistency that overshadows humanity now is also a reflection of the “it’s all about me” mindset that seems to be the driving force in most people today.
Convictions, commitments, principles are built on foundations of sand that shift continuously (and are, therefore, broken almost as soon as they are made) depending on the situation at the moment. Most people and most people in leadership positions are more concerned about how things will effect them personally and how things look than they are about consistency, fairness, and character.
That is a sad commentary on what we as a society have become. However, quintessential leaders don’t follow the crowd and allow society to mold and shape them (“everybody else is doing it, so it must be okay”), but instead stay on the path of building trust and being trustworthy and they exhibit consistency no matter what the situation both as leaders and examples to others.
I was recently at a conference where I saw a lot of glaring examples of inconsistency among people in leadership positions.
But one stood out more than most of the others.
A presenter had three presentations during the conference.
In his first presentation, he made some erroneous and unsupported statements that left many of us scratching our heads.
In his second presentation, he was on target with everything and was able to fully provide support for the whole presentation.
In his third presentation, he went back to the erroneous and unsupported statements of the first presentation and actually expanded on them.
The problem? The speaker’s second presentation completely contradicted what he said in his first and third presentations.”
In the first post of this series, the excerpt from chapter 1 included a list of all the components we must develop and have to build trust and be trustworthy.
In the subsequent chapter excerpts detailing the components we need to have and develop to build trust and be trustworthy, chapter 2 discusses honesty, chapter 3 discusses integrity, and chapter 4 discusses fairness, and chapter 5 discusses righting wrongs.
This post, which includes an excerpt from chapter 6, discusses the component of accountability that builds trust and makes us trustworthy.
Accountability is a two-pronged component that includes both a sense of duty and a willingness to take responsibility for our conduct, whether that is our words or our actions, or both.
Accountability also entails taking responsibility for the things and the people entrusted to us. Literally, when we are accountable we stand as a shield between everything and everyone we are responsible for.
If attacks come from from outside, we take the hit. We provide a safe and protected environment where growth, learning, and progress can thrive because we encourage it and the environment is threat-free.
Accountability, therefore, encompasses a large amount of territory. It also requires that we put our egos permanently on the shelf and conduct ourselves selflessly in all areas of our lives.
But, like all the other components of building trust and being trustworthy, accountability is rarely seen among people who are leadership positions today.
Building trust and being trustworthy is an integrated trait of quintessential leaders.
It is also an integrated trait that all of us – because each and every one of us leads at least one team, small or large, of people in our lives – need to develop and have as part of the core of who we are and what we are. In essence, this trait is at the center of exemplary character and conduct, and none of us should settle for anything less than this in ourselves and others.
Unfortunately, most of us settle for less. A lot less. In ourselves. In others.
The majority of people in leadership positions today are not trust builders and they are not trustworthy. Many of us, frankly, are also not trust builders and trustworthy.
We live in a world that with no moral code as its foundation that expects trust to be non-existent or broken. Look around. It’s everywhere, including, in many cases, very close to you.
And society has become so accustomed to this that it glorifies it instead of condemning it.
Politicians who lie routinely, who line their pockets with money and perks while making decisions that hurt and destroy the people they are supposed to represent, who cheat on their wives because they can.
Arts and sports celebrities who have no regard for faithfulness to their spouses, who live hedonistic lifestyles that destroy their families, the people around them, and, eventually their lives.
Religious leaders who cheat on their wives, who cheat on their taxes, and who scam their congregations both in how they deceitfully handle the word of God and in coercive and corrupt financial matters, acquiring wealth and power in the process.
Business leaders who destroy millions of lives by deceit, fraud, and illegal actions that result in their employees and customers losing everything while they escape any kind of punitive action and instead reap obscene profits and end their tenures – only to go to another financially lucrative position – with golden parachutes that are equally obscene.
And we, as individual leaders for our teams, who cheat on our taxes, who are routinely dishonest with the children (our own and others) and other people entrusted to us, who routinely steal things from our workplaces (you most likely didn’t pay for that pen you’re using at work, so it doesn’t belong to you), who routinely break traffic laws, who will walk out of stores with something we were not charged for and never think twice about it, who will take extra money that we’re not owed in financial transactions without blinking an eye, who cheat on our spouses, who marry until “divorce do us part,” and who, as a course of habit, break confidences of family and friends, gossip about family and friends behind their backs, and destroy reputations in the process.
Maybe we haven’t thought about building trust and being trustworthy at this kind of nitty gritty level.
But until we do – and we develop and have this trait as the core of who and what we are – we will not build trust and we will not be trustworthy. And we will not be quintessential leaders.
Trust and trustworthiness is probably the single most important trait we can possess. And it is also the most fragile.
It can take a long time to build and be, but it can be broken irreparably in a single second.
Therefore, this is a lifetime work on and in ourselves that we must commit to making an integral part of our character by continually developing it, maintaining it, and growing it.
This goal should be our goal.
But it requires courage. It requires diligence. It requires vigilance. It requires continual self-examination. It requires continual change. It requires the ability to, much of the time, stand alone to maintain.
It is not for the faint-hearted. It is not for the vacillators. It is not for the crowd-pleasers. It is not for the pretenders. It is not for the wannabes. It is not for the weak.
But if you’re reading this, I know that you’re not any of those kinds of people. Those kinds of people won’t even read this because it requires time, effort, change, and commitment, and too many of us are, sadly, either just too lazy or we just don’t care.
Building Trust and Being Trustworthy takes an in-depth look at the “this is what it looks like in practice” aspect of each of the components we need to develop and have to build trust and be trustworthy. The second chapter discusses the component of honesty in building trust and being trustworthy.
Excerpt from”Chapter 6: The Accountability Component of Trust and Trustworthiness”
“In this chapter we’ll show the aspects that encompass accountability and I believe it will become apparent when we review those that there is a serious lack of quintessential leadership in all walks of life today. But as we strive to be quintessential leaders, we will see that the component of accountability is one that must be part of who and what we are in order to build trust and be trustworthy.
What does accountability entail and how does accountability get measured in terms of quintessential leadership? Merriam-Webster defines accountability as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility” or “to account for one’s actions.” Being obligated and being willing are both attributes of character and mindset, which are crucial areas of distinction that make quintessential leaders stand out from everyone else.
Obligation is rarely found in organizational thinking today and in many ways it reflects the larger lack of a sense of obligation reflected in society.
Instead of recognition and actions that reflect that recognition of what we owe others, society, in general, has adopted an entitlement mindset that says “I owe nothing, but everyone else owes me.”
This is reflected in the “I deserve” and “my rights” attitudes that are prevalent in every part of life – home, family, school, extracurricular activities, religion, and work – today.
Obligation, by definition, is not negotiable. It is an integral and driving force in who we are, what we do, what we say, and how we think. Quintessential leaders know and understand their obligations and strive to fulfill them in every part of their lives and that includes the area of accountability.
Willingness is another character and mindset attribute of a quintessential leader.
Even if people know they should (obligation) do something, but they don’t do it, then they lack the quality of willingness. There is a proverb that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions. This speaks directly to knowing we should do something, but being unwilling, whether by procrastination, slothfulness, or lack of desire, to do what we know we should do.
So, as quintessential leaders, we know we should and are willing to be accountable for everything within our control. What does that exactly mean? What does it look like in practice?
Mike Myatt, in his article, “Leadership is Not Dodgeball,” gives a big-picture summary in his title.
We all remember playing dodge ball in elementary school. The object of the game was to avoid being hit by the ball if you were in the middle of the circle and it required running, jumping out of the way, ducking, and occasionally pushing other people in the path of the ball.
And for the most part, we see people in leadership positions doing these same maneuvers in terms of accountability in negative situations (these are also the first people to take full credit and accountability in positive situations).
One of the most common responses of most people in leadership positions today, across the human spectrum of organizational units and constructs when problems, issues, and mistakes happen is to simply run away – to distance themselves personally as far from the negative events as possible. This is out and out cowardice and not a quintessential leader trait.”
The society we live in places a high premium on fantasy, on magic, on fiction, on speculation, on dreaming. It seems the human race is drawn like a magnet to the improbable, to the outrageous, to the impossible.
We, it appears, have an irresistible urge to escape as much and as often as possible from reality.
Want to write a book that will get rave reviews and lots of sales? Write science fiction, fairy tales, or about the “dark side” (witches, vampires, werewolves, etc.). Almost every book publisher rates these topic areas as the best revenue streams for authors.
Want to have a hit movie or series? Set it in a fictional etherworld (on earth or in space), include magic, fantasy, and a good bit of blood, guts and gore and you’ll be well on your way.
And here’s the thing about fantasy that makes it so appealing. It doesn’t require focused attention, investment in time and effort, thoughtful consideration, and responsive application. Instead, it’s a superficial thing that is a blip on the screen that doesn’t change our lives and allows us to keep on going as we are without missing a blink.
I saw a quote today from an author of very short science fiction books and fairy tales that underscored the difference: ” I found the book to be too description-heavy and too wordy for my taste. Normally I would skim books that are so wordy…” and I thought to myself, “Seriously?” and then I realized this person was speaking a truth that seems to apply to most people.
Reality, therefore, has a very low premium, it seems, among the human race. Things that are factual, knowledgeable, useful, practical, and contain wisdom and truth are disdained and largely ignored.
Reality has depth that requires us to think, to process, to comprehend, to understand, and then to apply. Reality also brings us face-to-face with who we are on the inside and how that needs to change 
and improve. It deals with the most important things about life and living, and it can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow.
And we humans, it seems, want to avoid all of that at all costs. It requires investment, time, effort, and then a response. It can be hard work. It can be painful. It can be soul-anguishing.
The mindset that people in leadership positions have determines whether they are quintessential leaders or not. If the mindset is fantasy-oriented, then the person is an unquintessential leader. If the mindset is reality-oriented, the person is a quintessential leader.
Why?
Quintessential leaders are not constantly looking for escape, for mindless jaunts into imaginary worlds, with imaginary characters, doing imaginary things.
In fact, quintessential leaders have little patience for fantasy, for improbability, for outrageousness, and for speculation because they know this won’t result in solutions, change, and progress.
In other words, it’s a colossal waste of time in a life that doesn’t have, in the big scheme of things, much of that particular commodity.
Quintessential leaders face life head on and they stay rooted in the perspective and mission of change and progress (change without progress as a complementary perspective and mission is useless and, more often than not, ends with things being even worse than they were before; change for change’s sake is never enough).
Their mindsets, therefore, are reality-oriented in every area of their lives. What’s right? What’s wrong? What’s good? What’s bad? What needs to be done to improve what’s right? What needs to be changed to eliminate what’s wrong? How do we make what’s good better? How do we get rid of what’s bad?
Quintessential leaders are always thinking in terms of the previous questions, no matter what they’re doing, where they are, or who they are with. They are much more observant than those who have fantasy mindsets, and seldom miss anything in their observations.
Even – and most of the time we won’t – if they never say a word, quintessential leaders see, process (consider, evaluate, determine relevance, truth, rightness, goodness, usefulness, wisdom), decide to keep or reject, and if we keep, then apply just about everything that’s important in terms of people and life that crosses our paths.
Fantasy-minded people in leadership positions tend to have almost-nonexistent observation skills, tend to live in the moment only, and have poor and slippery memories. They are, ultimately, then completely untrustworthy.
So, the question that each of us, fellow quintessential leaders must ask ourselves is, “What is my mindset?”
Am I spending most of my time and energy and effort on things that are fantasy-based, not real, not true, improbable, speculative, outrageous? If the answer is “Yes,” then we have developed a fantasy mindset and are wasting not only our time, but the time of all the teams we lead in our lives. We are not living up to quintessential leadership and need to change. Starting today.
If the answer turns out be that we have a reality mindset, we’re not off the hook. The questions we should immediately ask are how and what can we do to change the degree, the improve the content, and to make progress in developing this mindset further. That also needs to happen today.
How are we doing?
The Quintessential Leader 